Are We Asking Too Much of Self-Regulation?


I spend a lot of time teaching people how to regulate their nervous systems.

It’s the foundation of the work we do at The Human Solution. Understanding what’s happening in your body when you’re stressed, recognizing when your fight-or-flight response has decided to take over the show, and developing the ability to create a little space between what you’re feeling and what you do about it.

It is good stuff. Important stuff. Stuff that pretty much all of us could stand to get better at. And I work really hard to walk the walk. I believe in the things! I do my morning routines. I practice down-regulating my heart rate. I ♥️ wellness!

But lately I’ve been wondering if we’re asking people to do an awful lot of regulating all by themselves. Or maybe the question is more like, “Why do we need so much help regulating our shit?”

Bear with me for a minute, while I take you on a little tangent. Michigan outdoor concert season. It is THE BEST. It is one of my favorite parts of summer and my favorite parts about Michigan. This year I got to see Brandi Carlile, TLC/EnVogue/Salt-N-Pepa, and the Indigo Girls, which meant several glorious evenings standing outside with thousands of strangers, many of whom were middle-aged, GenX women (like me), loudly singing songs that we know by heart because we learned them decades ago.

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The Human Solution

Leadership isn’t just a title. It’s a skill. And too often, managers are promoted for their individual contributions—then left to figure out leadership on their own. That’s a recipe for burnout, discomfort, and a whole lot of stress. At The Human Solution, we believe management is a professional skill set in its own right. And if you want to build high-performing teams and create a culture that thrives, your managers need the right tools—not just instincts.

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